“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears [or respects] the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31: 28-30, New International Version

Today marks the eleventh year that my mother has been separated from this earth. Time is a healer, but particularly in the intimate times, difficult moments, and the holidays, I am reminded of special memories and the void that has been left in my entire being without her.

I laughed inwardly throughout this week as I thought about some of the things she taught me:

• True cleaning requires that you move stuff around. We will not have a nasty house!

 

• Don’t lie!

 

• Better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it. (My husband always says that I pack too much stuff when traveling, but rarely do I forget anything and I always have options for a slight change in the weather.)

 

• You don’t need the best voice to sing in the choir. God openly accepts joyful noises humbly offered to him in worship.

 

• People will hurt you; Love them anyway.

 

• Do not pay to go to school. There are enough people willing to pay for you. Get a scholarship! (Hence the free education, though I don’t know if I would call it that, to the Naval Academy. The degree did not cost me anything financially, but it certainly was a sacrificial offering of my life. My Masters degree is being funded by the Department of Veteran’s Affairs, but I have to finish the program in three years. No slacking for me.)

 

• Her favorite hymn was “Amazing Grace,” a constant reminder that God is faithful to his children.

 

• Be a lady! Don’t walk outside of your house looking “any kinda way.” (Hence the lessons in clothes, shoes, accessories, and hair – including proper products and weaves.)

 

• It’s the cheese that makes the macaroni. (Actually, my father taught her that – but she delivered every time. Macaroni was certainly one of her signature dishes. We don’t touch that boxed macaroni and cheese stuff in my family.)

 

• Finally, “go hard” for your marriage and your children. (My mother and step-father were married for thirteen years until her death separated them. He placed his trust in her and she did not fail him. She took advantage of every opportunity for her children to grow in Godliness, character, and education. Most importantly, as she grew in maturity, she lived a life worthy of being called a Christian.)

 

I share these wonderful memories for those who are suffering a loss this holiday season. I encourage you to remember the good times. Maybe you can even write about it.

Considering the loss of a loved one, how do you get through the holiday season?

In Christ’s Love, Natasha

© Natasha L. Robinson