Book Review: “Start, Love, Repeat” by @dorcas_ct

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Why I picked up this book:

I was given the opportunity to review this book because the book’s author, Dorcas Cheng-Tozun, and I have been in a writing community together. Also, I thought the idea of book was smart, and opened doors for important conversations for people to have before taking the plunge of entrepreneurship. I also love the beauty and simply elegance of book’s cover!

Who Should Read Start, Love, Repeat:

 

The subtitle of the book is “How to Stay is Love with your Entrepreneur in a Crazy Start-up World.” Written from the perspective of an entrepreneur’s spouse, Dorcas Cheng-Tozun has given a very practical, well-researched, and thoughtful book for both the entrepreneurs and those who love them.

 

What’s in Store for You:

 

This book is outlined into six parts: Market Research, Due Diligence, Strategic Planning, Building a Team, Scaling Up, and Exiting. Throughout the book, Dorcas addresses relevant topics like the entrepreneur’s life and relationships, the relational elements of knowing one’s self and knowing one’s partner, developing trust and setting boundaries, and surviving failure or success. She has struck a delicate rhythm of offering a leadership book that is very relational.

 

Dorcas encourages the reader to be honest in the ways that they think, and in the ways that they appropriate their work and relationships. Important questions like, “Is the entrepreneur motivated by money, fame, or a desire to change the world,” are placed as golden nuggets throughout the book. She does this while sharing her own story, naming opportunities and challenges that will surely occur along the way, and she even offers some thoughtful reflection about good and bad stress, and mental illness.

 

Entrepreneurship is an adventure. Sometimes, you don’t know how to start, continue, or finish. As entrepreneurs and their partners learn, they also have opportunities to grow together, get clarity about work and life, and that’s good for the business.

 

My personal take-aways?

 

I just love this book! It is one of the best I have read in a while, and I have already started to go over it with my husband. He is an executive leader and I am an entrepreneur. We want to work well in the office, and live well at home with each other. Having important conversations is an investment in ourselves and our marriage, it gives us the clarity we need to work. Dorcas writes, “Investing in yourself is simply part of the equation of a robust marriage in the start-up journey and must work in tandem with staying connected to one another.”

 

In addition to discussing the book’s contents, we are also answering some of the questions and completing the assessments that are provided. I should point out that the assessments are not long, drawn-out, or boring. Think about them as an opportunity to engage or start a conversation.

 

Dorcas provides one such opportunity from the Young President’s Organization, “write down a list of ten specific ways in which he or she [executives and entrepreneurs] likes to be loved, and to ask their significant others to do the same.” This is a conversation that can happen over a cup of coffee, on a lunch break, dinner date, or right before going to bed. Intentional conversations like these cause us to intentionally engage and remember, when it is far too easy to drift apart.

 

Quotable:

 

“What is the opportunity in this? Our willingness to see everything that comes our way as a chance to learn and grow and try something new could be all we need to keep ourselves grounded and our relationships thriving.” Dorcas Cheng-Tozun

 

“This wide range of regrets points to the same truths: the more we understand ourselves and our partners, the better prepared we will be for the challenges of maintaining a relationship and building a start-up at the same time. If we can anticipate how we will respond to immense stress and uncertainty, we can better understand how best to cope and support one another.” Dorcas Cheng-Tozun

 

“With you in his life, your entrepreneur isn’t alone. But that doesn’t mean he won’t feel alone, carrying the weight of all that he is risking and all that he is trying to build on his own two shoulders. Fortunately, there is much you can do to remind him that you are there for him.” Dorcas Cheng-Tozun

 

“Across numerous studies, social scientists have consistently found that the top quality both men and women want in their partners is trustworthiness. In a committed relationship, trust extends far beyond the question of sexual fidelity.” Dorcas Cheng-Tozun

 

Tweetable:

 

Women are still greatly outnumbered in the start-up world, making up only 31 percent of business owners.  @dorcas_ct 

 

Sacrifice is always going to be part of the package, at least for a while. @dorcas_ct 

 

When you communicate proactively and consistently with one another, you are actually transmitting respect and care for one another. @dorcas_ct 

 

Regular sexual intercourse, it turns out, is good for your marriage but also good for your respective professional careers. @dorcas_ct 

 

Next Up on this Topic:

 

“Making a Living Without a Job: Winning Ways for Creating Work that You Love” by Barbare J. Winter

 

© Natasha Sistrunk Robinson 2018

 

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